


Take my breath away

by Liteangirl



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Children of Earth, Ianto Jones - Freeform, M/M, Torcwood, gwen cooper - Freeform, jack harkness - Freeform, janto, slight gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2959172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liteangirl/pseuds/Liteangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after "Children of Earth"</p><p>Jack has to live with his choices and losses; some days he thinks of his grandchild and sometimes he thinks of the love of his life;<br/>this is one of these days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take my breath away

**Author's Note:**

> Torchwood ripped out my heart and this is how I felt and how I wanted it to be.  
> If your heart is broken and your life is crushed after series 3 this might be good for you.  
> Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to Russel T. Davies and the BBC and so many other brilliant people who created this show.  
> The feelings are mine!

There were running. There were crying. There were panicking. There were screaming. There were dying.  
The air was heavy and the toxic gas filled his every part. The smell was sweet and it burned a little in the throat and the nose. In reality it probably was agonising pain but he couldn't feel it.  
He was dying. It didn’t feel like dying. He had tried dying several times before but this time; this time it was worse.  
His body trembled and his heart was choking - not on gas.  
It was choking on love.  
Love for him  
"I promise. I will"  
Those were the last words his love ever heard him say.  
His love died. His love died in his arms.  
"You will die. And tomorrow your people will deliver the children".  
The voice was harsh. The 456 had won and it was all his fall. He had killed humanity.  
He had killed his love. He had killed Ianto Jones. 

 

Jack wiped away a tear; It was only one out of many but not even an immortal man could wipe away the pain he was going through. It had been days since his entire life had crumbled.  
He was remembering that day again.  
Drinking another glass of scotch and then back to remember Ianto dying. He remembered the life leaving the blue eyes; reliving it several times before turning a whisky bottle upside down. He felled a warmth spread through his body and smashed the bottle against the wall with a cry that only resembled pure sorrow. He wasn't allowed to feel warmth.  
He heard familiar steps on the stairs and the door opened slowly.  
Gwen looked at her friend sitting in a pile of bottles, papers and tears. She hold back the tears and her body shook as she kneeled on the floor; picking up a paper and reading the words repeatedly written on the page.  
murder  
She threw it away as if it had burned her skin and looked through wet eyes at him.  
"Jack" she tried before cupping her mouth with her hands. Not able to control her feelings she cried for a couple a seconds almost losing breath before turning to him again.  
"Jack, please. Please stop. Please" she begged.  
Jack turned his head and their eyes met. She wiped her nose and felt her stomach turn.  
"Please" her voice was weak, "not today. Not today Jack".  
Jack looked at her with a blank stare. He had heard her words but he hadn’t listened.  
Gwen took a deep breath and went to him.  
"You watched him die once! I'm watching you - "  
"Don't!" he finally looked at her.  
She had never thought she would be afraid of him.  
He pointed a finger at her and though he was highly intoxicated by alcohol the finger was surprisingly still. He opened his mouth and looked like he was going to throw up before talking.  
"Leave".  
"No! I won't leave you. Not again -".  
"I am your boss and when I tell you to leave; you bloody well DO IT GWEN COOPER!".  
Jack stood quivering and braced himself with the table; reaching for something he opened the drawer and slamming it shut when he didn’t find it.  
Gwen backed slowly against the door; she knew what was going to happen now. Rhys had warned her not to go back to Torchwood and Jack. He had cried on his knees by her side watching her for the sixth day returning home covered in blood crying herself to sleep. Gwen being Gwen and not listening to Rhys went back everyday to find Jack sitting on the floor in his office; just where he had been ever since that day.  
"Where is it?!" Jack demanded and turned to her, " DID YOU TAKE IT?".  
"Please Jack - not today. I can't take it today. Please".  
"I'm not forcing you!" Jack spat and took one big step towards her.  
They stood nose to nose and his alcoholic breath made her nauseous. She shook and cried as he took a hold of her shoulder and gently moved her from the doorway.  
He only took a few steps before he stopped. Crying he bowed his head and let her bury her teary face in his back. For a moment they cried together as two friends should after a loss.  
"Please don't stop me" Jack said in a low voice and went down the stairs to the coffee machine where he gulped once before opening the drawers. He closed it slowly turning to Gwen who’d followed him there. He held out his hand.  
“Where is it?”.  
“No - please Jack. I can’t stop you - I’m pregnant. Please don’t make me watch!”.  
“I’m not making you. Go home to Rhys”.  
“I won’t leave you! I won’t leave you alone!”  
Jack just held out his hand, “please Gwen”.  
“Will it be the last time?” Gwen cried silently.  
“You know it won’t”.  
“I’m bringing Rhys tomorrow! He’ll stop you!”.  
“Like he did the last time?”.  
“I can’t stop you! I’M PREGNANT JACK! I CAN’T FIGHT YOU!” Gwen was screaming now; crying snot and tears; almost making herself sick.  
“And I don’t want you to”  
She kept shaking her head as she went to her desk; opening a drawer she pulled out a sharp kitchen knife. It was still covered in dry blood from yesterday. It had been quick when she had removed it from from the floor yesterday. She wanted to throw it away but she had to take care of Jack and after being sick on the toilet she’d went home to Rhys and forgot all about the knife. She had stood in his way and denied him access to the knife once. Knowing he wouldn’t hurt her she’d thought she’d won but then he took out a pen and used that instead. That was one of the days she had cried the most.  
Jack had taken of his shirt. His chest was bare and Gwen started crying even more when she realised there wasn’t even a single scar as a reminder of the last days. Even though he clearly didn’t wanted to be; he really was immortal.  
“Do you really think Ianto would have wanted you to do this? He wanted you to live - to have a life!”.  
“Live? I always live!” Jack cried, “I ALWAYS LIVE BUT I DON’T WANT TO! DO YOU GET THAT GWEN! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE!” Gwen flinched as he made a move to her.  
“Please go home” he said as he took the knife from her, “I don’t want you here. You don’t have to watch” Jack said with a glimpse of concern.  
“I’m not leaving you!” Gwen almost screamed, “this is the seventh time Jack. You can’t die!”.  
“I know. I can’t die - but I can feel - and I don’t want to!”.  
“Cutting out your heart won’t solve that! Please jack - please”.  
“Jack’s eyes were cold, “go home”.  
Gwen cried as she turned around; listening to her friend’s agonizing screams as he plunged the knife in his chest and tried to cut out the only thing that made him live. She heard the skin ripping open, the blood fossing out and the bump that told her it was over - for today.  
Jack had felt his heart separating from his chest and his feelings disappear. This time he would die. He just knew it! As everything turned dark he caught a glimpse of a blue eyed man smiling to him.  
“I love you” Jack whispered before closing his eyes. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been away when he came back. He gasped for air and it took a while before his breath was steady. He looked upon his bare chest; there were no scars. He fell back and closed his eyes for a moment. His entire body shook and he almost had a heart attack as something moved besides him. Then he realized.  
The love of his life woke up and looked at him concerned.  
Jack gasped, “Ianto!” his arms swung around the younger man and he buried his face in his shoulders crying his heart out. Ianto let him cry out and kissed him tenderly on the mouth when he finally stopped.  
“Bad dream?” he asked and smiled.  
Jack nodded, “I lost you - I - I- I - you were dead!”.  
“Tell me about it” he said and stroked Jack’s hair. Jack told the horrible dream to his lover and Ianto listened quietly with Jack’s head on his chest. When he was done Ianto moved away a little and looked straight into the icy blue eyes.  
“If I ever die - are you gonna do a thing like that?” he asked without feeling.  
“I wouldn’t had to. You being away; my heart would already be gone” Jack answered with a smirk.  
Ianto had planned a rather stern talking to Jack about self harming and suicide but he couldn’t help laugh. It was just a dream and Jack had already turned to the lovey stuff. He wouldn’t ruin it.  
“I’ll tell you one thing” Ianto said and stood up from the bed.  
“What?” Jack looked at the handsome man; enjoying the bare chest and those pyjamas pants that he wouldn’t mind being pulled down just a bit.  
Ianto moved over the bed meeting Jack’s lips in a passionate kiss.  
“It wouldn’t surprise me if I died choking with you in the room” he said.  
“What do you mean?” Jack asked confused.  
“Because you take my breath away”.


End file.
